Building relationships is about listening to others.
Good listening will help you build and maintain positive relationships. Good listening will help you prevent misunderstandings. Poor listeners don’t build meaningful relationships.
Connecting with others in a deeper level is key. Looking for meaning below the surface and understanding where they are coming from.
Reminding yourself that you don’t know what their journey has been like in life. You don’t know what lie’s deep inside them.
Encouraging others to be more open and heard will show you will be paying attention to their needs.
Consider the list of things that stop us from being “mindful” when others are talking to you
- Checking your mobile phone
- Fact finding instead of listening to the message
- Being judgemental about the person instead of listening and trying to understand them
- Problem solving and seeking to find solutions. Instead of listening to what they are actually saying. Becoming distracted by your own thoughts and ideas and miss the core message.
- Imposing your own personal view.
- Daydreaming – when you hear something that triggers unrelated thoughts.
- Selective listening – you’ve got the gist of what they are saying and filter out the rest.Which of these do you recognise in your own life?
Here are a few ways to help you listen
So you can gather all the necessary information and details of your speaker’s message.
Put aside your own strong opinions and help the other person feel heard. This can help you consider new possibilities and ideas.
Reflecting means mirroring your speaker’s message. To ensure you understood their message.
An important part of active listening is asking questions when you need clarification.
Offer a brief statement that describes the basic message you’ve discussed.
Use body language
Body language will show your engagement and is an important part of listening skills.
Use your body language to show your understanding. Nodding, making eye contact and responding with appropriate facial expressions. These will all help build a deeper connection.
Express your own thoughts, feelings and experiences to relate to your speaker.
Give your full attention
This can help you focus on the speaker and make sure that you are taking in everything that they are saying. Managing your time will ensure you can limit distractions while you are listening. Can you see how this all goes around in one big circle.
Pace the conversation
Allow silence. Provide time for the speaker to finish their thoughts and acknowledge their message. Giving you time time to absorb their message and process what they are saying before it is time for you to respond.
Ask meaningful questions
Ask questions that can help both you and the speaker reflect on what they said as well as elaborate any points. These questions might help the speaker remember other things they wanted to say or open up.
Recall previous information
Recalling information that the speaker has already discussed, along with a summary. This is a key skill to help you become a more effective listener.
Make changes today to prevent this from impacting your future communications with others.
All of this leads the way to show how you want others to connect when you are talking.
Considered Mindfulness? in order to build those all connections.